The Beginning, Part I

I suppose everyone has that moment when they reflect back on their very first sexual thoughts and actions. For some, I am sure they are unfortunate memories which are probably better off locked away forever, but for myself they seemed to come from nowhere.

I grew up in the Midwest and while I did not consider myself to come from a conservative place, living in different parts of the country in my adult life has led me to rescind that idea. Aside from the obligatory sex ed classes in school, sex was just not something talked about in my family. There were no "birds and bees" discussions with my parents and by the time they found out I had lost my virginity, I already owned a vibrator, had cyber sex, and probably watched more porn than anyone I knew. Maybe that didn't make me an expert, but it had definitely opened my eyes.

While I don't remember my first thoughts of sex, I vaguely remember when I first started to act upon them. I think the first time was in kindergarten. It was one of those "I'll let you touch mine, if you let me touch yours" type of moments. It happened in the hallway of the apartment we were living in with the son of my moms friend. He did let me touch his, but when it came time to reciprocate, I high tailed back to my house and never looked back.

The next time I remember wasn't long after the first and also my first embarrasing sexual moment. I was in the first grade at this point and one of my friends came over to stay the night. We were lying in my little twin bed, getting ready to go to sleep and I remember us having some conversation about sex (although I am fairly sure neither of us actually said that word or even knew what it meant). This evolved into us taking off our clothes and rubbing against each other. Maybe we thought we could cause enough friction to start a fire, who knows.

The embarrassing part came the next morning. I don't remember what we were doing that morning, but it probably had something to do with Barbies. Maybe Ken got a little frisky? I doubt it though, as all of my female Barbies were lesbian sluts who probably left Ken in Barbie's Corvette while they had a big orgy. Either way, somehow me and my friend ended up back in my bed trying to start a fire with our flesh. This time, however, my dad decided to pop in and check on us.

As much as I wish I could, I can't forget the look of confusion and disbelief on his face. He asked what we were doing and I remember trying to make up some excuse about taking a nap (naked. on top of my friend.). Under the blankets I was frantically trying to put my clothes back on, but it was no use. We were caught like that time Ken caught Barbie and Skipper in the hot tub (those dirty bitches). In the end, my Dad sent my friend home and I spent the rest of the day embarrassed in my room, and probably still doing lewd things to my dolls.

What sex life?

I think that pretty much sums it up.

I'd love to be regaling you with a tale of our latest sexcapade, but its so pathetic I am sure you would never navigate to my crappy little page ever again. The fantastic, mind-blowing, leg-buckling sex that B and I used to have is a distant memory. I am beginning to wonder if it actually happened.

Whether or not B wants to have sex is always dictated by how things are going in our lives and lately they haven't been so great. Our relationship is fine, but everything else seems to have momentarily crumbled. Lucky for me (and all of my vibrators) things are looking up. Hopefully my next post will be really, really, dirty.